As it turns out, this week is turning out to be a bit of a strange one too. Where do I start? Perhaps I should write more often, then I wouldn’t need to ask this question so often.
The biggest event that has happened so far this week is the concert that I went to on Tuesday. The reason I say this is because it is an event that has left a lasting impression on me. I’ll explain.
During orientation in London and in Tokyo for the JET programme, we were told that the best way to cope with culture shock in Japan was to accept pretty much anything our colleagues invited us to. This way we would give a good impression, build good relationships with everyone and experience new things at the same time. So when one of the teachers came over to me last month and said there was a piano concert in Osaka in October, with free tickets to teachers from our school, I accepted his invitation to go to it. I didn’t really have a choice actually, but it certainly didn’t seem like much of a chore as I love the piano.
So the concert rolled around on Tuesday. Between being invited and actually going to it, this same teacher had intermittently been coming to me with information on new concerts / music events etc., often writing them on my desk calendar before I could stop him. He’s quite a bit older - I assumed he was just interested in music and in practising his English (he isn’t an English teacher so doesn’t have much opportunity). I admit the constant invitations were getting a bit wearisome but I tried to keep a balance between refusing stuff and staying friendly.
Before leaving school with him on Tuesday evening, one of my colleagues, with a worried expression, asked me if he was married. Of course! I replied. I’m sure I’ve seen a ring on his finger. She looked a bit sceptical. When he came over to my desk I checked.. no ring. Oh dear.
The guy had a BMW. A very new, clean and expensive looking one at that. I didn’t think teachers got paid that much. We made small talk on the way into Osaka and I was feeling a little uneasy because of my colleague’s comment, but I tried to push it to the back of my mind. We arrived at the hotel, the Royal Hotel no less, where he began making requests to the staff in Japanese. From my basic grasp of the language I could tell he was ordering vegetarian food for after the concert, then he ordered flowers from the florist. I could feel rising panic.
When it was time, we went up to the concert itself and listened to some very beautiful and inspiring music performed by one of his ex-students (this explains the free tickets to our school) and the Kansai Philharmonic Orchestra. I really enjoyed the music, it was truly inspiring to hear such talented musicians perform live. Whilst the music played, I began to calm down a little. The flowers couldn’t possibly be for me - could they? And the meal, surely it was a small meal somewhere inexpensive. I started at the sound of applause, and to my huge relief saw the huge bouquet of roses the teacher had ordered being presented to the pianist. Wonderful! Now I could enjoy the food and really relax. I had overreacted as usual.
Except I’m not sure that I had overreacted. After the concert he said to me Right, let’s go eat some vegetable tempura! So I followed him through the hotel to an elevator which took us up to the 28th floor and then an esclator.. and stepped into a restaurant where the panoramic windows gave a breathtaking view of Osaka by night. The ceiling was black but it had small lights embedded into it to make it look like the night sky. What a romantic restaurant I thought, as my heart sank. A waiter quickly whisked us to the table that had been reserved for us, where a small bouquet of five pink roses awaited me. A present for you! he said with a broad smile. Later he insisted on taking a photo of me with the flowers against the backdrop of the city view. He also paid for dinner, which as it turns out, was as expensive as you would expect from the Royal Hotel in Osaka.
What started out as a kind invitation to a free concert left me feeling seriously uncomfortable. Other teachers have bought me things and taken me places, but it normally extends to a slice of cake and a trip to a local festival. I’m going to be careful about what I say yes to in the future so I don’t get put in this position again. More than likely he is just a kind man with a keen interest in music and doesn’t mind spending money on people. However, for my own peace of mind I will be keeping male colleagues at arm’s length, at least until I suss out what Japanese people consider to be too much in the way of gifts. I hope I don’t seem ungrateful, it’s just that where I come from this would all be considered too much, so it’s probably best to err on the side of caution.
On a different but related note, the following day a different teacher extended a more relaxed and welcome invitation (in the middle of the day, I might add). I’m about to go to the best cake shop in Nishinomiya if you’re interested in coming, said one of my JTE colleagues. At this, I was practically at the entrance of the school with my outdoor shoes already on. So we set off in his car, talking about food and cakes and the students in our class.
But the best cake shop in Nishinomiya was apparently closed on Wednesday. Typical.
So we went to the second best cake shop instead, where said JTE colleague said he was buying. But only this time I’m afraid, he grinned. This was exactly what I wanted to hear after the night before!! The cake was delicious:
The very professional staff even put a small sachet of ice in with my cake to make sure it was still chilled by the time we got back to school:
Needless to say, this slice of chocolate cake was a less intense but greatly appreciated act of kindness!
The biggest event that has happened so far this week is the concert that I went to on Tuesday. The reason I say this is because it is an event that has left a lasting impression on me. I’ll explain.
During orientation in London and in Tokyo for the JET programme, we were told that the best way to cope with culture shock in Japan was to accept pretty much anything our colleagues invited us to. This way we would give a good impression, build good relationships with everyone and experience new things at the same time. So when one of the teachers came over to me last month and said there was a piano concert in Osaka in October, with free tickets to teachers from our school, I accepted his invitation to go to it. I didn’t really have a choice actually, but it certainly didn’t seem like much of a chore as I love the piano.
So the concert rolled around on Tuesday. Between being invited and actually going to it, this same teacher had intermittently been coming to me with information on new concerts / music events etc., often writing them on my desk calendar before I could stop him. He’s quite a bit older - I assumed he was just interested in music and in practising his English (he isn’t an English teacher so doesn’t have much opportunity). I admit the constant invitations were getting a bit wearisome but I tried to keep a balance between refusing stuff and staying friendly.
Before leaving school with him on Tuesday evening, one of my colleagues, with a worried expression, asked me if he was married. Of course! I replied. I’m sure I’ve seen a ring on his finger. She looked a bit sceptical. When he came over to my desk I checked.. no ring. Oh dear.
The guy had a BMW. A very new, clean and expensive looking one at that. I didn’t think teachers got paid that much. We made small talk on the way into Osaka and I was feeling a little uneasy because of my colleague’s comment, but I tried to push it to the back of my mind. We arrived at the hotel, the Royal Hotel no less, where he began making requests to the staff in Japanese. From my basic grasp of the language I could tell he was ordering vegetarian food for after the concert, then he ordered flowers from the florist. I could feel rising panic.
When it was time, we went up to the concert itself and listened to some very beautiful and inspiring music performed by one of his ex-students (this explains the free tickets to our school) and the Kansai Philharmonic Orchestra. I really enjoyed the music, it was truly inspiring to hear such talented musicians perform live. Whilst the music played, I began to calm down a little. The flowers couldn’t possibly be for me - could they? And the meal, surely it was a small meal somewhere inexpensive. I started at the sound of applause, and to my huge relief saw the huge bouquet of roses the teacher had ordered being presented to the pianist. Wonderful! Now I could enjoy the food and really relax. I had overreacted as usual.
Except I’m not sure that I had overreacted. After the concert he said to me Right, let’s go eat some vegetable tempura! So I followed him through the hotel to an elevator which took us up to the 28th floor and then an esclator.. and stepped into a restaurant where the panoramic windows gave a breathtaking view of Osaka by night. The ceiling was black but it had small lights embedded into it to make it look like the night sky. What a romantic restaurant I thought, as my heart sank. A waiter quickly whisked us to the table that had been reserved for us, where a small bouquet of five pink roses awaited me. A present for you! he said with a broad smile. Later he insisted on taking a photo of me with the flowers against the backdrop of the city view. He also paid for dinner, which as it turns out, was as expensive as you would expect from the Royal Hotel in Osaka.
What started out as a kind invitation to a free concert left me feeling seriously uncomfortable. Other teachers have bought me things and taken me places, but it normally extends to a slice of cake and a trip to a local festival. I’m going to be careful about what I say yes to in the future so I don’t get put in this position again. More than likely he is just a kind man with a keen interest in music and doesn’t mind spending money on people. However, for my own peace of mind I will be keeping male colleagues at arm’s length, at least until I suss out what Japanese people consider to be too much in the way of gifts. I hope I don’t seem ungrateful, it’s just that where I come from this would all be considered too much, so it’s probably best to err on the side of caution.
On a different but related note, the following day a different teacher extended a more relaxed and welcome invitation (in the middle of the day, I might add). I’m about to go to the best cake shop in Nishinomiya if you’re interested in coming, said one of my JTE colleagues. At this, I was practically at the entrance of the school with my outdoor shoes already on. So we set off in his car, talking about food and cakes and the students in our class.
But the best cake shop in Nishinomiya was apparently closed on Wednesday. Typical.
So we went to the second best cake shop instead, where said JTE colleague said he was buying. But only this time I’m afraid, he grinned. This was exactly what I wanted to hear after the night before!! The cake was delicious:
The very professional staff even put a small sachet of ice in with my cake to make sure it was still chilled by the time we got back to school:
Needless to say, this slice of chocolate cake was a less intense but greatly appreciated act of kindness!
